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Why Now?

Me, New Year's 2018!

I have failed, a lot. Not to start my first introductory post dark (although I am a Capricorn), but I just want to keep it real. This is my third-ish time around the business block. First, was with a close friend/sorority sister doing beverage catering. Let me just say that this was fun, and lucrative and easy; I knew booze, she knew business. That lasted about a year. What happened, who knows? We were young, creative differences and truly it just wasn’t right nor sustainable for my new life. So then, I thought I would never bounce back from that, I did.

A lovely co worker of mine from my corporate job, and a popular news anchor convinced me that I was made for television (I am). So, the former job mate and I did some videos. “Projects” she would call them, and they were fun and informative, but went nowhere. They could have gone somewhere, but her personal life became a soap opera and I clearly was not passionate enough to carry on. We are still friends, and I find that she is very talented; our issue, we spoke different languages. Not literally. Though, sometimes it felt that way. I like to think of this as a half attempt because I actually did not put in money, nor a hell of a lot of time. Those videos are out there somewhere in the abyss of youtube.

My REAL second attempt was with two friends, whom I was supervising at the time (what was I thinking?) at my aforementioned corporate misery of a job- by the way, this job was not corporate, it was actually a non profit with a corporate mentality- you guessed it, overworked and underpaid. Let’s put a pin in that. These two women are still super close to me and I will love forever, but we alllllll know why we did not work out. THREE dietitians leading a shared business. Ha! Di-as-ter. We were all desperate to leave our structured work. This was just last year.

After that, I took a HUGE pause. I asked myself a lot of hard questions and I focused on my place in life. I had recently been terminated from the “not so non profit” job due to a political reason. The situation was bleak and ugly. I had been praying for new work, a new focus, something I actually gave a crap about…..God just said “Since you won’t do it, I will.” Ha! I should have left that place six months prior, but I was devoted to my team, I was devoted to the people (another Cap problem). I was hurt, confused even, though overwhelmingly grateful.

I took about 7 months to excel in my school work/new wellness modalities and get my emotions and life back into focus. I saw my husband more, I was involved with church more, I became kinder to myself, I learned to sit my ass still, I uprooted some gnarly ideals and beliefs that really weren’t me. I saw my family and traveled a bit; I graciously accepted unemployment. I became vulnerable and strong AF. Bullet. Proof. Around June of 2017, I decided I was going to finally brand myself. I was going to start calling myself a consultant, and believing it. Well, I did and I quickly got a contract with a “meh” organization. I did all of the work they asked me to do in a month’s time. No lie. I was BORED, but hey, I needed the cash and I needed the notch on my consultant belt. BUT, the more I defined who I was and what my brand would be, the less I desired to be there.

Fast forward. It is January 2018. By God’s unending grace, I was finally forced to launch with some tough love from a few angels. One stated “you have been sitting on gold”. And I have. So what is difference the third time around? Well, other than doing it ALONE (I am more than enough people), I actually counseled and prayed this time. It was a calculated and intelligent risk. The motive is different too. I think in the past I was merely entertaining people-it was a lot of self. NOW, I want to very much teach and help people, with entertainment being a by product. I am on the brink of imploding with knowledge if I don’t get it out. This time, I believe I can and will make a difference. This time I am extremely confident. This time is the right time.