I’m not really sure where this blog post is going, but what I do know is that it’s a dumping of needed truth. In this season, it seems as though many life lessons I expected to come, later on in life for sure, are now happening one after the other; like a round of ammunition in an automatic weapon.
I’m 32, just 32 and in the last three months alone, have experienced great grief, denial, happiness, exhaustion, confusion, love, disappointment, tragedy, excitement and the list goes on. It’s one firey hoop to jump through right after the other in life’s circus. I know, sounds like I can’t handle my emotions? WRONG! There are few people who even have the slightest concerning the aforementioned, but let’s just keep it mild and say I’m being majorly and unapologetically tested. A comfort zone is non existent and Lord knows I’m barreling through and collecting trophies for my perseverance.
The question I keep asking myself is timing? Why this timing? Could this not have been spread out over a few years? Lol! Why so fast, so crass, so “in my face”, so deeply penetrating, so thought provoking and action required? What is this?!?! And that still small voice that replies without fail says “Growth”. Whatever I have put out there, to be called back to me is apparently huge and apparently happening soon. I imagine this rapid preparation is for things that my former self would have not comprehended, simply not ready to receive.
So for that, I will call forth whatever those things are even more. If that means this particular season gets comfy, parks itself on my doorstep and stays a while, then so be it. The emptying of old self is essential to be filled with newness- to be aligned, congealed and truly transformed into what you are called to be is an irreplaceable moment. What’s sad is most people never get this far. There is a settling that takes place. Not a settling into oneself, but settling on what is in front on them.
I encourage you, especially you women kind, to move past that- RUN away from allll of that. When your season, or seasons come, arise to the challenge! Don’t keep life lessons on replay. Master that shit and move on to who you were always meant to be.